Give the neighbours something good to talk about as you invite a TV crew to transform your garden into extra living space. Max and Terry show how the life of a poor family can be enhanced by Brian Dowling and Robson Green tramping through their backyard. Add thousands to the value of your house in this tricky time of the credit crunch. Along the way find out secrets of the wheelchair, Alan Titchmarsh off camera and Robson Green's new catchphrase.

Prepare your ears for genius as Max and Terry search for a more talented, and less litigious Ross Kemp settling on the people’s actor Robson Green. Robson is mooted as the star of their action-packed, genre-crossing TV treat ‘Surf Doctor’, a show already described as ‘having one over Lovejoy.’ Dare to imagine a surfing-doctor-detective foiling the plot of an evil Leslie Grantham and his just-as-evil hypnotised sharks.

Bookings are now being taken for Max's lecture tour. Hear about a 78% surefire hit that never got past the pilot stage, Charity Begins in Hove. Max takes you behind the scenery (left over from another show) to give you a first hand insight into the creation of comedy gold.

Who is Ted Monroe? What to do to get the kids to stop all the stabbing and pull themselves off away from the internet? Max and Terry create a world of wonder, full of wondrous things in your actual olden days, in the shape of a classic drama serial for kids. Find out why Max and Terry feel obligated to Cilla Black, the going rate for Joe Pasquale and how to defeat evil moth creatures from another realm.

Alien shenanigans in the far-off future of 1998 are recalled by Terry. Find out how Gareth Hunt got the part as Space Agent John Granger, why Morty Vicker's double act 'Vicker and Tart' dissolved, and why you should use non-toxic glue in monster masks. All this and how clever use of an egg sandwich can help you get the best performance from your actors.

It's one hot spud of a topic. This week Max and Terry lament a lack of decent police procedurals on the telly and devise a surefire hit that'll get Parky reaching for his Sky+ box. Also find out why Max is miffed with the Chuckle Brothers, and why Terry isn't too chuffed with that fella from Eastenders (not Ross Kemp, the other one, he was in it years ago, you remember him don't you?). Where to buy drugs, what kids get up to in jail and what you'd never name a child - all covered in great detail and oh so much more.

Ronnie Corbett's boxer shorts! Yes Max returns for another remembering session. The hilarity of men dressing up as women is taken to hysterical new heights of humour in the pilot for 'Life's a Drag'. But where did it come from? How was it made? Why was it never released? All these issues and more are addressed along with a performance of the show's jokes by Max himself.

Max and Terry roast some old chestnuts and give the Fanny-joke an airing in this instructive episode about cookery shows on TV. Get their sometimes damning verdicts on modern TV chefs and find out how they can reinvigorate a moribund genre using Ross Kemp, marmalade and a pinch of media magic.

Max gets all remembery about the lost, and almost forgotten, celebrity panel show 'How Much is an Arab Worth?'. So join us for tales of stubbornness, real desert sand and a quick round of 'Woman or Ass'.

The latest show has veteran men of the media, Max Buffer and Terry Bland, in conversation as they tell you just what's wrong with reality TV and how it can be fixed with a celebrity version of Are You Being Served? Along the way find out about Merlin the Psychic Dog, horses on drugs, Clive Dunn's Portugal hideaway and why Ross Kemp would make the perfect Captain Peacock. Things you won't get an answer to include the reason why Wendy Richards will never speak to Max and Terry again. www.mediamuseum.co.uk.